Gemini
by Secretie
Summary: Within the anime storyline. Ryou's constant struggle with the darkness dwelling in his head and what burden it brings. Perhaps being alone is the worse reality. But then again, who is really reliant on who? progressive Tendershipping


The soft platform under him was enough to keep him, after so long, grounded. How long had it been since he held the reins? Even if it meant being immobilized and in pain, the feeling of possessing his own mind was satisfying and refreshing. Like finally coming to the surface light of a deep pool, where the gravity wasn't so heavy.

He wanted to test this newly regained control of something that was technically his. Well, it once _was_ only his, but now those memories seemed like another lifetime.

Ryou twitched his facial muscles, just enough to see if he would awaken any foreign feeling of perhaps pain. Hadn't he been in pain just recently? Isn't that why he was lying here immobilized in the first place? Ryou could recall a sharpness but the so recent memory seemed strangely hazy. Testing his limits even more, Ryou took control of his fingers and shakily stretched each one individually until his full palm touched the crisp, sterile linen below him. Exhaling slowly, a ghost of a smile graced his lips. Like a child taking its first steps, Ryou rejoiced in the feeling of his body's movements taking direction from his own thoughts. It was something so many others would simply not waste a thought on, but he would never again take these small accomplishments for granted. He knew at any moment, his freedom could be forcefully confiscated.

Now with more confidence, Ryou stretched the fingers of each hand out as if reaching for something just out of grasp. His arms lurched forward with the rest of his taut hand, but this time he found the feeling he knew was missing. All at once, a piercing pain shot up his left arm like electricity finally being connected. The moving current of sharp pain, coming from all ends of his limb, landed at their source in his throbbing upper arm. Ryou squeezed his eyes even more tightly shut and clenched his jaw. It felt as if someone was trying to cut the bone out of his arm...or maybe someone _tried_. It didn't matter at this point, the pain was the only real feeling Ryou had now.

He desperately tried to go limp and return to his sedated state. Ryou wished he could just open his eyes to figure out where he was, or perhaps why he was there in the first place. But another thought surfaced the same moment. He didn't want to be fully conscious or able enough to move either. If he did, then there was a great possibility his control would slip from his fragile grasp again.

Once his breathing returned to a pace that wasn't as aggravated, the pulsing in his arm seemed to die down slightly and offer a little release. His body granting him some pity. Ryou dug through his mind trying to bring up his most recent memories. This was always a challenging task. Most of the time his memories were in jumbled fragments and the rest was just an empty void of terrifying nothingness.

One memory slowly rippled to the surface. He could recall watching from the shadows, seeing Yugi in some sort of distress with a man in a cloaked robe. The atmosphere smelled of motor oil and machinery. Everything seemed so blurred and fast paced as the memory struggled to play clearly in his mind. But like an old film, the pictures eventually grew fuzzy and scratched. The last thing Ryou could recall was seeing the Millennium Puzzle in many scattered pieces at his feet and lastly a fleeting memory of a sharp pain up his spine. Then the picture faded out.

This memory did not explain why he was in so much pain currently. But it did tell him that he had been a deserted afterthought in the mind of another for quite some time.

Bakura. Ryou shuddered, although not violently enough to wake the sleeping nerve endings in his arm. Whenever he seemed to find himself alone and in pain, one person could always be connected to the scenario. Sometimes it was due to something he did that the ancient spirit disapproved of. Ryou had learned very quickly what a danger it was to go against Bakura's will. Most of the time, Ryou never got in the way. Usually he did not have much choice in the matter anyway. The ever-present spirit had such a grasp on his mind that Ryou rarely knew how often the spirit actually took control, let alone what he was doing in that time of tyranny.

However, there was one time when Ryou had been exceptionally bold. He shuddered again at the memory and longed for the strength to to pull the flimsy blanket over his head. As if to protect himself from his own recollection.

When Ryou first stood in the presence of Yugi his first day of school something within the caverns of his mind stirred with such a force Ryou was sure that he had reached a level of insanity. He could feel the desire for something unknown. It was as if he was in the presence of a powerful drug that he once had been ensnared by. Even then, he knew something of the darkness that inhabited his subconscious but never had he felt such a strong pull forward from this spirit.

It wasn't much later than that when Ryou found himself on an island in the presence of this boy Yugi once again. Ryou had wanted to be there as well, for a simple love of a game. But the real reason he traveled all that way was something he could not put to words. This spirit, in its new obsession, clouded his mind and decisions. Two items Bakura desired rested on that island unbeknownst to his host and that was enough to bring the Millennium spirit to surface.

Standing before Yugi and his team again, Ryou could not help but be struck with an overwhelming feeling of guilt as he emerged from the dense forest. It made him feel weak at the knees and heavy in the chest. These four people who had been nothing but kind to him were now in the presence of an immeasurable danger thanks to Ryou's inability to control the darkness.

"You gave us a scare sneaking around those bushes."

That was Yugi's friend...Tristan. He remembered meeting them all the first day. Each one with their own trusting smile.

Joey put his hands on his hips confidently, "Yeah, for a minute there we actually thought we had something to worry about" Ryou fought back a sigh but kept the impassive mask on his face. There was no use fighting anymore. He didn't know what was coming but there was an undeniable feeling of his reality fading with each passing second. A low chuckle was heard echoing in his skull, bouncing off the walls.

It wasn't much later when he found himself as a pawn in Bakura's sick and twisted game. In the form of the very card he so well associated himself with.

Appearing before these people he dared call friends, he saw the confusion and horror in their expressions, but Ryou's face did not mirror theirs. Nothing surprised Ryou anymore. There were no limits Bakura set for himself, everything in his world was manipulated to get what he wanted and this scenario was no different.

Ryou paused for a millisecond before making a daring choice. Looking into the faces that stood across from him a resentment bubbled up to the surface like a glass being overflown. The liquid finally reached the brim and spilled over. He had to do something. And this was rare chance to be in power.

The possible future consequences were forcefully pushed to the back of his mind. He had to do this. For them. For himself. It didn't matter what happened anymore. The frustration of being in a constant haze with impulses that were clearly not his own was just too much. Who wanted to live when there was someone else really living for you? When was the last time he had clear thoughts? His own thoughts?

Bakura growled in surprise and frustration above him. Ryou could feel the anger radiating off of him like some kind of heat.

Ryou commanded Yugi to attack, spreading his arms out. Embracing the end of so many things.

"Do it!" Ryou yelled as boldly as he could manage without bringing any emotion to the surface. They only knew the half of it. Losing meant he would be able to rid himself of his darkness, but in the process, sacrifice himself.

"Be quiet!"

A stern, but stressed command from above him. It didn't matter. Bakura couldn't do anything to stop him. For once, Ryou held a tiny handful of manipulation. And he was not letting it go.

Suddenly everything changed.

It was as if he merely blinked and abruptly the tables were turned. Ryou peered down at the very soul he was so afraid of in as much surprise as he was. Ryou was thankful to Yugi for attempting to help him, to win with no sacrifices. But Ryou knew deep down this relief was fleeting and temporary. Fear struck every nerve of his body and a tremble was felt throughout his muscles. What had he done? Bakura would be back. He always was. Ryou felt as if he might cave in, like a house made of sticks that was ready to collapse by any slight breeze.

The fear was kept off his face, for the sake of the people who just saved him.

It wasn't much later when Ryou felt a familiar tug in his conscious. It was like someone's hand was slowly squeezing his brain, the back of their hand pressed up against the inside of his skull. So much pressure and it was only the beginning.

Ryou swallowed, knowing the feeling that was to come next. It was as if he was being pulled backward from his body, watching the scene before his own eyes grow more and more distant until he was surrounded by swirling darkness. The worst part was, looking from the outside, no one would notice the transition. The people he was just surrounded by were oblivious to the fact Ryou was no longer standing by their side.

It was maddening. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He should have warned them when he had the chance.

Ryou was snapped from his thoughts by a very real tug on his shirt. He inhaled sharply by the sudden motion.

"You thought you could get away with your betrayal, did you?" Bakura hissed throwing Ryou by his shirt to the foggy ground of his own mind only to hastily pick him back up again by the throat. Ryou could hear himself make a choking noise and his eyes burned becoming moist.

"Well- Let me make this perfectly clear. If you interfere again, you're punishment will be _far_ worse than this." His flickering eyes studied his Hikari's closely before finally seeing the regret and shame surface when their pupils locked. Amusement crept its way into the Yami's eyes. Bakura had to regain the control he lost, regain the fear. When had his light gotten such brave thoughts swimming in his head? Did he not yet realize the power of the ghost dwelling within him? Surely not. It must had been a memory lapse.

Ryou struggled weakly in his grasp but Bakura gave him a firm shake to stop his trembling.

"Remember- you may be able to hide from others, but you can never get away from me." Ryou knew that well. He once attempted to get away and run from this evil, back in the beginning. It seemed so long ago. He had thought maybe freeing himself from the ring, the source, everything would disappear. Ryou could recall Bakura's harsh laughter and the sharp prickling of the ring's spindles sinking into his boney torso.

Ryou thought that maybe somehow, someday he could be freed of this presence still, but the more depressed, frail voice Ryou had become accustomed to answered him in thought. _Then you would be alone_.

Being alone. It was intriguing and terrifying to Ryou all at the same time. Deep down he knew being alone was worse than any wrath of Bakura.

"I-I..." Ryou stammered. Trying to make the situation better. But what could be say to explain himself? He had done something very bad. Very very bad.

A hand squeezed tighter to his neck, daring him to show that same confidence he displayed during the shadow game. Nails dug into his flesh until blood seeped out through the small cuts. Even in his mind, the sensation felt too real. His heart hammered with fear so loud, he knew Bakura could hear it.

Bakura's face moved closer until they were almost nose to nose, menacing eyes glaring down into the fearful and pleading ones of his Hikari before a smirk found it's way to his face, "Think of that the next time you decide to make allies with people who have no attachment to you."

Those words cut deeply and Bakura knew it. This was just a power trip. His Yami could do much worse if he so desired.

Ryou let out a small whimper, as if to apologize. Bakura dropped him.

He slowly exhaled, coming back to reality. Ryou felt uncharacteristically safe lying on this bed, body pinned down from injury. Instinctively he wanted to reach into his mind and search for his darkness. It was strange not to sense him after being conscious this long. But Ryou decided better of it. Why ruin a good thing? He would focus on the reality, what was real. But his mind countered that his Yami was _very_ real.

Ryou exhaled again in a sigh as he wiggled and flexed his toes, once again delighting in the sensation of his body obeying him. These simple movements were all his body would allow. He longed to get up and walk. To anywhere, it didn't matter.

But his breathing was becoming rhythmic and relaxed now. He allowed all muscles in his body to release. Some sleep would do him some good. It had been a long time since Ryou felt at ease from rest. With the pain from this new injury, as well as what he assumed was weakness from blood loss, Ryou gave in to his body's commands and began to drift into sleep.

For a small moment in his dreamy state, Ryou felt thankful to Bakura for letting him get the undisturbed rest he needed. At least his Yami was aware enough of the fact his host could not take as much physical trauma as his darker counterpart.

Without any warning, there was suddenly a chill that pulsed through his mind and vibrated at the end of his consciousness. It made Ryou feel nauseous and he swallowed repeatedly trying to get a grip on the situation. Coming out of his dream state, Ryou tossed his head gently in a desperate, weak attempt to rid himself of this overwhelming feeling. Usually when Bakura came forward in his mind it was forceful, but done with ease. Ryou and his darkness could share the same experiences to some degree and knew each other well, but this felt completely foreign.

A whimper sounded from his throat when flashes of Ryou's own memories began to play behind his eyelids. It was as if someone was stifling through them like a tourist looking at postcards. Shots of his childhood home with his mother cooking with him in their kitchen, old toy soldiers and trucks, a neighborhood with the many familiar concrete streets, games he played as a child, a flash of his sister's smile. Ryou tossed his head more violently now trying to get this unknown force away from his private memory. It didn't make any sense. Who else but Bakura could have such open access to his mind?

He stilled for a moment when a realization struck him. This feeling was like nothing he had ever felt from his Yami. This was much more invasive, like a parasite feeding on his own precious memories, ransacking through his thoughts in search of something to take. Perhaps something useful. A distant and crackling laughter abruptly filled his head in a deadly echo and Ryou froze. _That_ had not been Bakura. Another low alien chuckle, this time sounding more amused.

The nauseating feeling worsened and Ryou's head spun dizzily. He felt like he was in the grasp of a deadly fever, everything felt like a dream but the discomfort was so real. More memories played wildly in his head, one after the other. Whoever this stranger was had a great understanding of the complexities of the mind. It felt as though each corner of his consciousness was being harassed. His memories, fantasies, dreams, desires, secrets...they were all exposed easily by the invader.

Ryou took a trembling breath and tried to focus, but the dizziness was overpowering. He didn't want any more of his mind to be opened and uncovered. He yelled a desperate plea in his head for the intruder to stop, but he received no response. Now the sickening feeling was too much to take. So many of the memories being exposed for him were times he had locked away to forget. Ryou placed many mental barriers in place to protect the unwanted and painful memories he carried, but now they were all brought to the surface within seconds. A Flash of childhood moment with his sister flickered in front of him.

A choking sob erupted from his throat alongside ragged breathing. With one last attempt at halting the trespasser Ryou cried out into his own mind.

"_Yami!"_

It seemed to echo forever. There was no response and Ryou was far too desperate to wait. He needed someone to come to his rescue. He felt like a frightened child calling out for safe, shielding arms of protection, even if the arms were of his very own darkness.

"_Please!... Help- Bakura!"_

Everything began to slow down a bit and the dizziness wasn't quite as overpowering. The mind intruder seemingly slowed his actions to draw attention to some new found presence in Ryou's mind.

"_What are you doing in my host?" _

Ryou released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had never been so relieved to hear that bite in his Yami's voice. Usually that intimidating growl was a clear indication of a step over a line. It was the sort of bite to a question that his Hikari would cower before, but now it was directed at someone else. There was something else underneath his tone...a possessiveness?

Nevertheless. Ryou could not express his gratitude at Bakura's anger. He was too afraid to be angry himself. Who had the right to invade his mind so violently? The nauseous feeling slowly subsided.

"_There you are..."_ A new voiced answered with an amused undertone. It was the foreign presence. Ryou felt Bakura snicker in annoyance.

The hikari tried to hang onto their conversation. To perhaps understand who this person was inside his head that Bakura seemed to be acquainted with. Why would Bakura welcome anyone else inside his own mind? The again, maybe this person wasn't welcome. The two voices were deep in his conscious and Ryou had trouble picking out their words. Only fragmented pieces came through to his understanding.

"_You'll get the rod..."_

"_Look, my patience is growing thin..."_

"_...next part of the plan"_

"_...duel disk..."_

A familiar laughter, starting only as a chuckle, filled the boy's head and he jumped slightly in surprise.

An irritated snicker answered the laughter.

"_something else you're not telling...?"_

More pieces of the conversation were missing, but Ryou's concentration was frail and the mind strain was exhausting.

An unfamiliar growl, obviously stemming from impatience, interrupted his thoughts. It vibrated off his skull and the hikari scrunched his nose in displeasure.

"_...millennium items or don't you?_

"_Time to enter the finals is running out..."_

Suddenly the alien presence in his mind seemed to dissolve away in small pieces until he could no longer sense it. Ryou relaxed slightly. He never wanted to feel that force in his head again. A cold sweat slid down his forehead. He was still so tense and disoriented. Had it all been just a dream?

Ryou suddenly felt very real arms grab hold of his own and tried to shake him awake. His mind went into overdrive assuming it was that stranger coming back to violate his conscious some more. No matter how hard he tried to come back to reality and open his eyes, his body was just too weak and strained. The arms continued to grab hold of him, but as strong as they were, they couldn't bring Ryou out of his own head and into his body. Someone was calling out to him but he could not put any sense to the words.

An aggravated snicker was heard at the front of his mind. Bakura scoffed at the force trying to wake his host.

"_...fool"_

Ryou's eyes where forcibly made to open without his consent, but because of the quick action, all he could see was a blur of muted color. Within seconds everything went black. He was once again thrust to the back of his own mind.

**Thank you for reading my first chapter! It's been so long since I've done any creative writing so this is a nice break. **

**If you haven't figured out exactly what's going on, I'm writing this story along with the events of the series. It seemed to me that there is so much unknown about the relationship between Ryou and Bakura even during the show. It does spark the imagination. This tendershipping fic will be slowly developed, like all relationships are. Right now, there aren't too many hints of love between these two people, but we'll see how it develops. **

**I want to keep as true to the original characters as best I can so if you feel I am writing them even a little OOC, please tell me! I think they are wonderful and complex characters on their own and I want to keep them that way by staying true to who they are. I am using pieces of both the Japanese version and the English dubbed for dialogue. I actually love the dub's version of Ryou and Bakura but I still use pieces of both. It's just a shame how much the dubbed version is edited and censored. **

**Lastly, please review! Any sort of comments can inspire me to continue. Even if you have just one word to say, don't be shy to share it. ^^ I'll appreciate any feedback.**


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